The holidays arrive dressed like a Hallmark movie—twinkle lights, cinnamon in the air, the promise of magic glittering around the edges. And yet, if we’re honest, December can also feel like trying to drink joy from a firehose. It’s noise-meets-chaos, sugar-meets-expectations, a thousand tiny pressures humming like fluorescent lights.
For kids and grownups, overstimulation is practically baked into the season—like the world went and put glitter in everything, including the things that didn’t ask for it. But overstimulation doesn’t mean we’re doing the holidays wrong. It just means we’re human.
In our home—Fry, Party of Five—December joy and December overload walk hand-in-hand. Our tweens get swept up in the excitement… until suddenly they’re not okay. And to be fair, the adults aren’t always okay either. So here’s a gentle, old-fashioned-meets-modern guide for noticing the overwhelm and shepherding everyone (big and small) back to center.
The Season of Too Much
There’s something about the holidays that magnifies everything: sounds, smells, feelings, schedules, expectations.
Kids feel it in their bodies—jangly energy from a week of class parties, too many treats, or being “on display” for family gatherings. Adults feel it in their minds—too many tasks, too little quiet, and that nostalgic longing for a Christmas that may never have existed but was always softer in our memory.
Overstimulation shows up as:
- A normally chill kid suddenly melting down over the wrong color plate
- A tween who retreats to their room and slams the door
- A grownup who gets snappy because the holiday ham won’t fit in the pan
- A body that’s tired but wired
- A heart that wants peace but keeps tripping over pressure
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. This is the universal December experience. It’s not a failure—it’s simply too much input for one human nervous system to process at once.
Start With Awareness (The Quiet Middle Space)
Holiday overstimulation doesn’t announce itself politely. It sneaks in. A little tension in your shoulders. A kid who suddenly seems “too much.” A nagging sense that something is just… off.
The best gift you can give your family—tweens included—is learning to catch it early.
Ask yourself (and your kids):
- How does my body feel right now?
- Do I need quiet or connection?
- Is this a big feeling or a big environment?
We can’t remove all the stimulation—nor would we want to. But we can help everyone find that quiet middle space between excitement and overwhelm.
Create a Calm-Down Plan Before the Chaos Hits
Think of it as your holiday emergency kit—less batteries and Band-Aids, more peace and permission.
1. Make a Family Code Word
Something light and funny—“snowglobe,” “gumdrop,” “candy cane meltdown approaching.”
When someone says it, it means:
I need a moment. Please don’t make me explain it.
This one strategy alone can diffuse 80% of holiday tension.
2. Build Mini Escape Routes
Create simple ways for everyone to catch their breath:
- A few minutes alone in the car
- A quick walk outside
- Noise-canceling headphones
- Ten minutes in a bedroom or hallway nook
- “Bathroom breaks” that are really nervous-system resets
Normalize stepping away—not as a punishment or drama, but as a wise, gentle choice.
3. Agree on Boundaries in Advance
Kids thrive when they know what to expect.
Adults thrive when they also know what to expect.
Talk through things like:
- How long you’ll stay at gatherings
- Which events are optional
- How many sweets the kids can have
- What behavior is expected when everyone is tired
Not as rigid rules, but as shared family rhythms.
Honor Your Kids’ Sensory Needs (Especially the Tweens)
Tweens are a special brand of sensitive—half kid, half grown. They’re old enough to understand their feelings, but young enough to be completely overtaken by them.
Holiday overstimulation often hits tweens hardest because:
- They’re navigating big social expectations
- They’re hyper-aware of themselves
- They’re exhausted from school
- They’re growing like wildflowers after a rainstorm
Give them room to be human.
Let them take breaks without commentary.
A tween slipping off to a quiet bedroom isn’t being rude—they’re managing their bandwidth.
Offer choices instead of orders.
“Do you want to greet everyone now, or take a second to warm up?”
This respects their agency—vital for kids in the in-between years.
Protect their need for routine.
Even a tiny anchor—like a morning cocoa ritual or bedtime check-in—keeps holiday chaos from sweeping them away.
And above all: don’t take their mood personally.
Overstimulation can turn even the sweetest kids prickly.
It’s not disrespect. It’s dysregulation.
Parents Get Overstimulated, Too (Even If We Pretend We Don’t)
The holidays can turn grownups into overstimulated toddlers in nice sweaters. We’re running, planning, cooking, wrapping, organizing, refereeing, coordinating, smiling, hosting, and trying to create magic from thin air.
No wonder we hit our limit.
Give yourself permission to:
- Step away from the noise
- Say no to one more event
- Serve simpler meals
- Leave the wrapping for tomorrow
- Ignore the elf-on-the-shelf peer pressure
- Let the house be lived in rather than Pinterest-ready
Your kids don’t need a perfect Christmas. They need a peaceful parent. Or at least a parent who knows how to take a time-out without guilt.
Build Quiet Into the Holiday Rhythm
There is ancient wisdom in slowing down. Our grandparents—quiet, steady, practical people—understood the value of resting during winter.
So reclaim that tradition.
Create homespun pockets of quiet:
- Turn off the overhead lights and bask in the glow of lamps and twinkle lights
- Listen to old Christmas records
- Drink something warm and simple
- Have “silent nights” where everyone does their own cozy thing
- Take drives to see lights with the music soft
Quiet is not the opposite of joy. Quiet is the cradle that holds it.
The Beauty of a Gentle Exit
Sometimes the best way to prevent overstimulation is to leave while everyone is still doing okay.
Holiday gatherings have a natural arc:
Excitement → Peak Fun → Slight Chaos → Emotional Landslide
Your goal? Exit somewhere between Peak Fun and Slight Chaos. Give your kids the out. Give yourself the out. Let it be graceful, not guilty.
Teach Everyone the Art of Grounding
Grounding brings the mind back when stimulation pulls it away. It’s useful for kids and adults.
1. Five Senses Check
Ask your child (or yourself):
- Name 5 things you can see
- Name 4 things you can feel
- Name 3 things you can hear
- Name 2 things you can smell
- Name 1 thing you can taste
It resets the whole system.
2. Heavy Work
This is magic for the nervous system, especially for overstimulated kids:
- Carrying a bag of laundry
- Pushing a door
- Stretching
- Squeezing playdough
- Wrapping up in a heavy blanket
It tells the body, “You are safe.”
3. Breath Work for Real Humans
Not fancy yoga breaths.
Just: In for four, out for six.
Long exhales calm the brain faster than any pep talk.
Remember the Real Point
The holidays aren’t a performance. They’re not a checklist of traditions. They’re not a Pinterest board come to life.
They are a deeply human season, full of beauty and noise, imperfections and memories, magical moments and messy ones.
Overstimulation isn’t a sign that you’re doing it wrong. It’s a sign that you’re alive in a season that asks a lot of you.
So give everyone grace. Give yourself grace. And let this be the year your family honors both the sparkle and the stillness.
After all, the best holiday memories aren’t born from the loudest moments—but from the quiet ones that glow long after the season fades.
Fry, Party of Five 