Thanksgiving break: the magical time when school screeches to a halt, turkey takes center stage, and your tweens remind you why teachers deserve hazard pay. While Pinterest shows us candlelit tablescapes with acorn garlands, what we actually get is five full days of “I’m bored,” sticky pumpkin pie residue on the counter, and the eternal fight over who gets the last crescent roll.
But fear not, weary parents of tweens. I’ve put together the ultimate Thanksgiving Break Survival Guide—a mash-up of humor, hard-earned wisdom, and “helpful” tips that will get you through the holiday without losing your sanity or eating your feelings (okay, maybe a little of both).
Tip 1: Lower Your Expectations (and Then Lower Them Again)
If you go into Thanksgiving week imagining The Waltons meets Martha Stewart Living, you’ll be crushed by day two. Tweens do not frolic in the leaves wearing plaid scarves and woolen hats. They sulk, they scroll, and they only emerge from their caves for food or Wi-Fi password resets.
So here’s the trick: lower your bar so much it’s practically underground. A successful break is not “family bonding over gratitude journaling.” A successful break is “no one cried in the mashed potatoes.”
Tip 2: Stock Up Like It’s the Apocalypse
Tweens eat like they’ve just returned from a three-year trek across the desert. The pantry you thoughtfully filled last weekend? Empty by Monday. The gallon of milk? Gone in one sitting, poured into bowls of cereal that will be abandoned mid-bite because “it got soggy.”
My advice: shop like you’re prepping for a zombie invasion. Buy three times as many snacks as you think you’ll need. Hide the good stuff (the chocolate, the kettle chips, the sparkling water you bought for you) in an undisclosed location. Pro tip: behind the cleaning supplies—no tween has ever voluntarily touched Windex.
Tip 3: Pretend Screen Time Rules Don’t Exist
Normally, you’re a parent of principle. Two hours of screen time a day, no phones at the table, yada yada. But Thanksgiving break is different. Those rules? Consider them decorative suggestions, like the “suggested serving size” on the pie box.
This week, the iPad is your co-parent. YouTube is your babysitter. And if Roblox gives you an uninterrupted 45 minutes to chop vegetables in peace, consider it a holiday blessing.
Tip 4: Create a “Tween Entertainment List” (and Then Watch Them Ignore It)
Every year I make a noble attempt at crafting a wholesome list of activities: board games, baking cookies, family walks, DIY crafts. And every year, my tweens glance at it, roll their eyes, and mutter, “meh.”
Still, make the list. Tape it to the fridge. Call it your “Plan B for Boredom.” Because once in a blue moon, one of them might actually say yes. And when they do, you’ll have the supplies ready to go and can snap one (1) carefully curated photo for social media proof that your family does things together.
Tip 5: Weaponize Gratitude
Thanksgiving is about giving thanks, right? Here’s a secret: tweens love to complain, but they hate being caught in it. At the dinner table, make everyone share one thing they’re grateful for. Then, in true parental fashion, circle back when they whine later.
“Oh, you’re bored? Interesting. Just twenty minutes ago you said you were grateful for family time. Let’s lean into that, shall we?”
It’s not manipulative—it’s tradition.
Tip 6: The Cousin Factor
If your Thanksgiving involves extended family, beware: cousin dynamics can either save or ruin you. Tweens + cousins = 70% chance of disappearing for hours in the basement (praise be), 30% chance of a WWE smackdown in the living room.
Here’s how you manage it:
- Encourage the basement option. Out of sight, out of mind.
- Intervene early. If you hear the phrase “bet you won’t,” just assume ER copayments are in your future.
- Use Nana as a buffer. Tweens will ignore you, but they’ll simmer down when Nana yells. It’s a sacred law.
Tip 7: The Great Pie Debate
Pumpkin pie? Pecan pie? Apple pie? Your tweens will loudly announce that they “don’t like any of it” and then promptly inhale half a can of whipped cream straight from the nozzle.
Do not fight this battle. Save the pies for the adults. Hand your tween a plate of Cool Whip and call it a day.
Tip 8: Outsource Whenever Possible
Thanksgiving survival is about strategy, not martyrdom. Let your tweens set the table (yes, with mismatched forks). Put them on dog-walking duty. Let them peel potatoes while you sip coffee and supervise like a queen.
If Uncle Casey offers to take them on a “fun hike,” say yes before he finishes the sentence. They’ll complain the entire way, but that’s his problem now.
Tip 9: Family Photos—Choose Your Battles
We all want the perfect family photo: fall leaves, coordinated outfits, everyone smiling like a Hallmark card. Here’s the reality: your tween will show up in a hoodie with a stain, stand six feet away from everyone else, and grimace like you just asked them to eat raw kale.
Take the picture anyway. Later, when they’re older, those awkward tween photos will be pure gold. Trust me—grimaces age better than forced smiles.
Tip 10: Embrace the Chaos
At the end of the day, Thanksgiving break with tweens is messy, loud, and sprinkled with attitude. But it’s also fleeting. In a few short years, they’ll be off to college or too cool to come home for the whole week.
So let the eye rolls happen. Let the pantry raids happen. Let the screen time flow like gravy. Because one day, you’ll miss the chaos.
And until then? Survival mode on, pie fork ready.
Final Word
Thanksgiving with tweens is not about perfection—it’s about endurance. It’s about laughing when things go sideways, stocking the pantry like a doomsday prepper, and remembering that one day you’ll look back and laugh (instead of cry).
So pour yourself a glass of wine, hand your tween the whipped cream, and survive this Thanksgiving break with humor intact. After all, gratitude looks a lot like making it to Monday with your sanity mostly intact.
Fry, Party of Five 