Don’t let the title fool you. I still have 9 months before I am there. I’m just starting to prepare.
I’m not gonna lie, friends- 40 is totally freaking me out. It is immensely difficult for me to wrap my head around the idea that my 30’s passed by so quickly. The last 10 years have been the best years of my adult life. Still, I cannot get over the thought that I have been alive for 40 years.
40. 4-0. Forty. No matter how I write it, that number seems absurd. Me? That old? I still remember my first day of Kindergarten (and my Cabbage Patch backpack) clearly. I plainly remember my first love and our first kiss in the woods behind my house. My losses, my mistakes, my wins in my 20’s replay in my mind as fresh as the spring air I am breathing now.
Those all happened just yesterday, didn’t they?
My mom died at 42. Since then, in the back of my mind, I’ve always wondered if I’d live to be older than her. Her 40’s were ruled by cancer. I pray my 40’s are ruled by love, laughter, and a just a little chaos.
40 Thoughts on Turning 40
one | i’m totally freaking out!
It can’t be true! Me, 40? No way!
two | i remember when i thought 30 was old!
I remember clearly the day my mom turned 30. I thought she was o.l.d. Well, here I am…10 years past that age. I’m no o.l.d. am I?
three | 40 is so close to 50
And 50 is officially old!
four | i thought i would know more now than i actually do
I thought I’d know how to at least make a grilled cheese without burning it by now! I feel like I’ve been under a rock since having the kids. It’s like I’ve missed out on 6 years of what’s going on in the world around me…
five | i have new goals and new ambitions
I have spent the majority of my 30’s working hard to become a mother and then mothering triplets. That was my goal and I am beyond thankful that I was able to reach it. I have new goals and ambitions for my 40th year.
Not that parenting isn’t a top priority, because it is. It’s number on my daily to-do list. It’s just that I want to be more than a mother. I want to go on a girls only trip. I want to find a regular self-care routine that really works for me. I want to stop apologizing, to speak up for myself and to learn to say no without guilt. I want to live my best life.
six | i’m a better version of me in my 20’s now that i’m almost 40
My early to mid-twenties were a mess. My mom died, I married the wrong man way too young, and made a million wrong decisions after that.
I was laid off from my job. I left and soon divorced my husband. I moved back home and lived with my grandma and then my sister and brother in law.
At 27 I started over and haven’t looked back!
seven | i’m finally loving the imperfect parts of myself
Mom bod, hellacious c-section scar, and all…
eight | i want to be a better friend
I want more girls nights and even a girls trip. I need this, friends. You know who you are. Even if you don’t know who you are…you probably are!
nine | i’m choosing to be kind
I have found that hate and disrespect take more energy than to just be kind.
ten | i want to read more
Forty books in my 40th year! It’s a lofty goal, but I’m willing to try!
eleven | i’m spending more time in the moment
I have built a life I love, now it’s time to focus on and enjoy it!
twelve | i’m going to pay more attention to the world around me
I will educate yourself and form educated opinions. I will stand up for what I believe in. I will help people and donate my time.
thirteen | i’m not going to take myself so seriously
I used to be fun. I use to break the rules. I used to be spontaneous. I can be those things again!
fourteen | i can still wear skinny jeans and leggings, right?
They are my favorites. I don’t want to give them up just yet!
fifteen | i don’t mind my crows feet and laugh lines
I have earned them, dammit!
sixteen | i no longer have the fear of missing out
Now I just have the fear of missing my favorite television shows!
seventeen | i spent my previous decades being wrong about so many things
Mainly that I needed to be like everyone else. That I needed to conform. Being my own person and not feeling like I have to do what she does or what they do is absolutely freeing.
eighteen | i prefer experiences over things
Take me to St. Martin or Paris or hot as ass Texas and I am a happy girl. I want to explore!
nineteen | i’m getting more forgetful
I’m still blaming that on mom brain!
twenty | i’m totally out of touch with pop culture
And I am totally okay with that!
twenty-one | i don’t mind being called ma’am
I earned it. But, please don’t call me Angie.
twenty-two | fresh cut flowers
I’m going to start buying them just because I can.
twenty-three | i love massages
They are completely worth the expense. I couldn’t function without them.
twenty-four | i love handbags too
Okay…so I do like some things (see #18). I want an expensive one this year!
twenty-five | the next birthday post
The next time I write a post like this I will have three 17 year olds! o.m.g.
twenty-six | there is always something to be thankful for
I have a roof over my head. I had a meal today. I have an amazing family. I could go on and on…
twenty-seven | don’t wish your life away
It goes by so quickly.
twenty-eight | i thought i knew what i wanted when i was younger
It took getting older to figure that out.
twenty-nine | i am an empath
Highly sensitive. Introverted. Huge heart. Giver.
thirty | i won’t forget the days i prayed for the things i have now
A loving husband, beautiful triplets, an amazing home, a caring family, and time to appreciate them all.
I am so looking forward to turning a year older with my friends and family by my side…even if it is my 40th. Are you 40 yet? How did you handle it? I’d love for you to share your thoughts on 40 in the comments!